I become many things when in this state, but mostly, I think of guns,
explosives, combat knives......!!
I hate everything that tries to confront me.
I lose all fear of authority, not even God!!!
I see myself as a warrior in battle gear and mood,
Am a fierce lion that has gone mad,
Am a sniper laid in a secret position waiting for his mark,
Am a special OPs operative on a covert sting mission,
am studying tightly my options of how to best achieve my objectives.
I don't tire or even feel pain in my over worked bones and muscles.
I don't feel hungry; but hate is all I have to feed on!
I imagine my enemy in cross hairs and falling away with a single jerk
at the squeeze of my trigger!!
I see myself stalking prey in the darkest night, when he's alone and scared.
I watch from a hideout, his suspicious and confused mind,
when he can't see me but when I see him perfectly.
The dread of my presence scatters his emotions and death is the only option availed.
It comes quick and precise, that he just ceases to exist!!!
But, something strange happens to me; I find myself crying!!!
Silent but painful tears that burn my eyes and cheeks while lazily flowing.
Why? Why?
The pain of my victims; They didn't go with it, but left it with me......
Its this pain that makes me weak and seem to be relieving my hate.
Am weak and empty, am likened to a desert dry wind that carry no rain,
but heat! The heat of a bitter and lonely life!!!!!!!?
I scream............huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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